The McJoneses

Our last name is terrible. Every email I’ve sent for the past five years has included a phonetic pronunciation of our name, yet nobody can pronounce it. Nobody can spell it. Crappy computer systems from the 1970’s (like those used by airlines, credit card companies, etc) don’t allow enough space (16 letters), nor do they allow hyphens (nor even spaces), so it all gets squished together and chopped off at the end.

When we would go to restaurants and give our name to the host[ess] to be seated it took more time to explain the name and how to spell it correctly than it did for a table to open up. At some point we got so frustrated that when we went to a restaurant we just started using the names of people we know. Then we started using random names. The problem with this is that we actually had to remember which name we used on which occasion. It was simpler to use the same name each time… but what name would it be? It had to be easy to spell & pronounce, like Jones. But we wanted something a little more unique (and perhaps a bit silly).

We settled on McJones.

I’m pretty good at keeping a straight face, but I nearly lost it the first time we used this name at a restaurant. It’s just such a ridiculous name, yet it met all our criteria. We’ve been using it for four or five years now, and it never fails to provide us with amusement.

“McJones, party of two, your table is ready.”

Rob Raguet-Schofield
(rob ra gA skO fEld)