The McJoneses

Our last name is terrible. Every email I’ve sent for the past five years has included a phonetic pronunciation of our name, yet nobody can pronounce it. Nobody can spell it. Crappy computer systems from the 1970’s (like those used by airlines, credit card companies, etc) don’t allow enough space (16 letters), nor do they allow hyphens (nor even spaces), so it all gets squished together and chopped off at the end.

When we would go to restaurants and give our name to the host[ess] to be seated it took more time to explain the name and how to spell it correctly than it did for a table to open up. At some point we got so frustrated that when we went to a restaurant we just started using the names of people we know. Then we started using random names. The problem with this is that we actually had to remember which name we used on which occasion. It was simpler to use the same name each time… but what name would it be? It had to be easy to spell & pronounce, like Jones. But we wanted something a little more unique (and perhaps a bit silly).

We settled on McJones.

I’m pretty good at keeping a straight face, but I nearly lost it the first time we used this name at a restaurant. It’s just such a ridiculous name, yet it met all our criteria. We’ve been using it for four or five years now, and it never fails to provide us with amusement.

“McJones, party of two, your table is ready.”

Rob Raguet-Schofield
(rob ra gA skO fEld)

3 thoughts on “The McJoneses”

  1. how bout MONKEY,,,,as in W.B. MONKEY , table for 2~~~~~~~~ now that could provide some amusement!!! ( we always use some other name,also…..) either friends we’re with or just RICHARDS!!! and then try to remember!!!!! gets harder as you get older… ( the remembering part) so it’s easier to stay home, :) what do the people ‘living’ in our country with names that have 25 vowels in them do?????? have a good day, hugs, nan

  2. I think it could have used some more contrast like McFarad, or McKarzide. I guess maybe those don’t meet the easy to pronounce criteria. You could change it up depending on where you are going to eat. Chinese resturant => McZhang, Indian McPatel, German McGutzmer. though I do not think you will be going back to any German resturants anytime soon

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